Accommodation and Communication
by Ezra Cole '23
There are countless studies indicating the importance of children participating in storytelling practices from an early age. Storytelling influences a child's socio-emotional development, sense of self, memories, and connection with others. Studies have shown that children who are barred from storytelling practices are often socially isolated, which can lead them to develop anxiety and other health concerns later in life. With that being said, children are resilient and will find ways to communicate their identities and tell their stories. While there is nothing to completely replace or supplement oral storytelling, it is important to recognize other means of communication. This includes illustrations, sign language, dance, costumes, singing, and other ways for one to express themselves.
I myself was drawn to fashion as a medium to express myself when I became frustrated with oral and written communication. I became aware of the larger cultural language of dress and how fashion has certain archetypes at a young age. I was then able to use those archetypes to express certain characteristics of mine. For instance, as a child, a core self-identity was that I was a "good" feminine child, so I often dressed myself in soft-colored dresses. However, as I grew as a person, I wanted to gain more confidence, and so I changed my style to reflect those who I and society perceived as confident. By changing my style, my local reputation also changed. This social validation as a "confident person" helped change my inner self-identity.
Although this may not be a form of storytelling by the definition of storytelling, it is still a form of communicating one's self that has aspects that are similar to storytelling. Because of this, it is important to recognize and validate the preferred way one communicates.
You may be wondering now why I would be writing this piece instead of somehow conveying this information and experiences through fashion in some way. I chose this medium to convey this information because I am aware that this is most likely the form that you are most familiar with and comfortable with receiving such information, even though this particular medium continues to not come easily to me.
I hope that by accommodating you in this way, you may extend the courtesy to another whose preferred way of communication does not align with yours. I emphasize this point of respect and mutual accommodation because many children face social isolation when their way of communicating is not valued by others.
Students who struggle with verbal and/or written communication are increasingly being taught in general education classrooms (myself included) and are unfortunately often excluded from storytelling, pretend play, and journal keeping. As mentioned previously, stories, memories, sense of self, and community are interconnected with each other. For instance, a person's sense of self is also related to both storytelling and memories. Oftentimes, characteristics that make up an individual's sense of self come from larger culturally valued characteristics.
When an individual retells a story, the story typically contains or is narrated in a way that expresses what the individual thinks is a core aspect of themselves. An example of this would be if an individual believes themselves to be kind, they might tell a story highlighting that characteristic to others. In return, their identity as a kind person might then become local knowledge among their associates. And by interacting and telling stories to these people, their identities can be strengthened, especially if their local and self-identity align, which they often do. However, when one is not able to take part in interactive storytelling, they might be able to know culturally desirable characteristics due to stories they received, but their sense of self can’t be strengthened by telling personal narratives to others. This also makes it more likely for their sense of self and their local reputation to not be aligned. This disequilibrium might cause the individual to question their self-identity.
Pretend play is another form of storytelling that is critical to a child's development and occurs in all cultures and circumstances. Pretend play allows children to develop complex social thinking skills and social-emotional intelligence. It creates spaces where children can explore multiple perspectives, assign tasks, negotiate and take turns, synthesize and transfer information, and recognize and regulate emotions. As well as explore symbolism and delayed gratification.
Studies have also shown that pretend play is a foundation for adult creativity and has consequences for adult development. This is not to say that children who do not participate in pretend play will not gain these skills. However, due to the lack of such a key way to socialize, children who do or cannot participate in pretend play may develop complex social thinking skills and social-emotional intelligence later than their peers.
If a person is not able to experience the necessary and desired level of social contacts, such as interactive storytelling, they might begin to feel socially isolated from their community. While there are people who have few social interactions and do not feel lonely, these people typically
However, as stated previously, it is very likely that people who don't or cannot partake in storytelling are more likely to have a looser concept of sense of self which will then might lead to a stronger need to be validated by their community or a desire for social contact. When that is not experienced due to the lack of storytelling, they then are more likely to feel loneliness.
Loneliness has been found to be correlated with higher levels of stress. When someone is continuously socially isolated, their body will perceive it as a threat because a basic human need is not being met. Studies have shown that individuals who are subjected to this kind of active stress response for an extended period of time are more prone to
"developing cardiovascular disease, elevated blood pressure, infectious illness, cognitive deterioration, and mortality."
This implies that a child being socially isolated early on in development will not only negatively affect their early years in life but also adulthood.
This brings us back to my earlier points about the resilience of children and how communication is a two-way street. Children will find ways to communicate their identities, stories, and needs, even if that way(s) is considered unconventional to others. Children are much more perceptive than we give them credit for and are often acutely aware when adults and others in their lives are not receptive to their way of communication, even when the adult believes it to be subtle. I also want to make clear that I am not suggesting that we should not try to teach children oral and written language. I understand the importance and the power those mediums hold. However, communication goes both ways, and it is important for all participants to accommodate each other.
Oftentimes, it falls onto the child to accommodate those around them, which leads them to feel isolated. We adults should value all forms of communication, whether it be dressing up, drawing, sign language, dancing, or something completely different.